We Interrupt Our Usual Service

For an utterly ludicrous Samson Special!

Yes, Samson! The band formerly known as “that band that Bruce Bruce was in before he shaved off his silly moustache, gained a surname and joined Iron Maiden”. TBTBBWIBHSOHSMGASAJIM for short.

Of course, they existed before the advent of Bruce Bruce, when Paul Samson took care of the vocals, alongside long time bass player Chris Aylmer and future Iron Maiden drummer, Clive Burr. So it seems only fair to start at the beginning with ‘Mr Rock’n'Roll, which featured Gillan bass monsta, John McCoy. (and yes, I know it was their 2nd single). Pedants;

MP3 one – Samson – Mr Rock n Roll

Their first album, “Survivors”, came out in 1979, by which time notorious drummer Barry Graham was in the ranks. He was better known as Thunderstick, replete with rapists mask, which actually made him look more like Kendo Nagasaki than anything else. Bruce Bruce still hadn’t arrived, although later pressings of the album had his vocals added. WHo cares when it contained that most awesome of tunes, ‘I Wish I Was the Saddle of a Schoolgirl’s Bike’.

MP3 two – Samson – I Wish I Was the Saddle of a Schoolgirl’s Bike

By this time, they were hitting the heady heights of;

Northampton MFN Club July 3
Wolverhampton College of Further Education 5
Scarborough Taboo 7
Blackburn St. Georges Hall 8
Portsmouth Locarno 10
London Marquee 11
West Runton Pavilion 12
Bristol Granary 14
Yeovil Johnson Hall 15
Wakefield Unit Hall 16
Blackpool Norbreck Castle 17
Middlesbrough Rock Garden 18
Peterlee Festival 19
Arbroath Condor Club 20
Aberdeen Music Hall 21
Inverness Caledonian Hotel 23
Edinburgh Nite Club 24 (me! me! I was there)
Hull Wellington Club 28

And soon it was time for another record. “Head On” it was. And frankly, it was rubbish. No-one could be surprised at Bruce Bruce jumping ship, when they were coming out with pants like ‘Too Close To Rock’;

MP3 three – Samson – Too Close To Rock

Strange to say, with Bruce Bruce gone to Iron Maiden and Thunderstick off to a solo career (no, don’t laugh, go here, Samson somehow, miraculously, became a bit good! The addition of fat fella Nicky Moore on vocals and future Simple Mind Mel Gaynor made “Before The Storm” a great, great record.

MP3 four – Samson – Life On The Run

Samson soldiered on with assorted lineups and a few hiccups here and there until Paul Samson’s death from cancer on August 9, 2002. Bass player Chris Aylmer later died on January 9th 2007, also from cancer.

Finally, here’s a bonus track for you.

MP3 five – Samson – Losing My Grip 12″

There stuff is stupidly out of print, although you can get an anthology of the non Bruce Bruce stuff from Amazon. Buy it here.

However, if you really want a laugh, check out the Bruce Dickinson DVD anthology which includes the classic 15 minute short, “Biceps of Steel”, which I remember seeing in the Friday music night slot at the local mucky cinema, The Classic, when it toured as support to “Breaking Glass”. We left before Hazel O’Connor appeared. You can get it for under a fiver at here.

And as yet another treat, here’s the Russ Ballard original of ‘Riding With The Angels’!

Old, Live ‘n’ Rare Volume 4

We’re practically an antique now, and doubtless that’s what’s caused all the old whingers to come out of the woodwork with their “we want more Split Beaver” (which, to be fair, will see a huge upsurge in hits, albeit the wrong kind), and “what about Grim Reaper, they were proper metal”, gripes. Well, if you want a request show, start bothering that bandit Chris Evans, not me. And that brings us nicely to Part 4, which starts nicely with, oh bugger;

Split Beaver. Who were shit. They managed somehow to get past a split single with Savage, and move onto an entire album, issued by Heavy Metal Records. Who were shit. And not just because they unleashed the Handsome Beasts upon us. No, Split Beaver were shit all by themselves. Listen to the awfulness of the delightfully named ‘Gimme Head’, and tell me otherwise.

MP3 one – Split Beaver – Gimme Head

With that out of the way, let’s move on to a different level of awfulness with, oh bugger, Grim Reaper.

Somehow, Grim Reaper managed a career of sorts, despite Sounds reporting in 1983 that “Grim Reaper bring their own brand of frolicsome fun to you at the following venues;”
Redditch Valley Club June 3
Bradford Bensons 7
Worcester Waterside Club 23
Kidderminster Market Tavern 24
Runcorn Cherry Tree July 20

They started off on no-budget indie, Ebony Records, but by some fluke ended up signed to a proper label in the shape of RCA Records, who put out their 1987 album “Rock You to Hell”. But we’re going way back in time to listen to a pre debut album version of their classic ‘See You In Hell’. Scarily, they reformed a couple of year back, and vocalist Steve Grimmett who also wailed through albums by Onslaught and Lionsheart also has a new band called Grimmstine. He’s still fat.

FACT ALERT! Their 1985 video for ‘Fear No Evil’, in which the band fights an evil wolf man and frees his slaves, was reused by US tossers Weezer as the video for their 2005 single ‘We Are All on Drugs’.

MP3 two – Grim Reaper – See You In Hell

Finally, for this episode, it’s time for some wimphem. Mind you, anything to wash away the taste of the last two track would be welcome. So we’re going to go for some “rare, live” (as the lawyers insist on calling it) Cheap Trick. This was recored one night in 1978 (possibly on my birthday, but who knows with the crazy assed colonial approach to dates) at the Capitol Theatre, Passiac, New Jersey. So, seeing us out tonight, here are, the one, the only Cheap Trick and ‘Southern Girls’. Back soon, in a Split Beaver free edition.

MP3 three – Cheap Trick – Southern Girls

Old, Live ‘n’ Rare Volume 3

Well, it’s still going as we delve into the archives for some more top quality rock. And when I say top quality, I very often mean the exact opposite. And despite the moans of Italian crypto-fascists who lurk around this blog, no doubt attracted by the smell of stale sweat and leather, I shall continue in fine Bruce Dickinson fashion.

And here he is with the mighty Steel! A cracking name for a NWOBHM outfit, but one sadly at odds with their output. This was even before Bruce Bruce arrived in Samson, and he still only had one Bruce to his name. He didn’t hang around long, which is why he never made it to the top quality photo shoot displayed on the cover.

MP3 one – Speed – On The Road

Time to get all pomptastic now. It seems nowadays that Magnum are regarded as being somwhow unique. But back in the day, there were a few other bands out to claim their throne. One of the best were Saracen, whose “Heroes, Saints & Fools” album was an absolute peach. They even released an incredibly melodic single, which I now present for your delectation.

MP3 two – Saracen – No More Lonely Nights

Finally, for this episode, it’s time for some hometown heroes. The mighty Holocaust were Embras premier heavy metal band, all concentrated around the Phoenix record shop on the High Street. Singer Gary Lettice lived up to his rock and roll name, working behind the counter, and it was the owner of the shop who created the originally titled Phoenix Records to release Holocausts records. Of course, Metallica came along and paid guitarist John Mortimers mortgage off, but this 12″ was my favourite of all their releases. How could it not be? It is, after all, “Heavy Metal Mania all the way”.

MP3 three – Holocaust – Heavy Metal Mania

Old, Live ‘n’ Rare Volume 2

There’s probably no-one more surprised than me, that this series has reached installment number 2. Maybe it’s because the internet is really boring these days. Maybe it’s because I’m a Londoner. Maybe, I’m just amazed. However, here it is, and we’re kicking things off with some mightily obscure prog.

Now we don’t do prog very often round here, as it really does attract the wrong sort of people. People to whom paradiddle means more than a hearty snigger. People like Steve ‘Steve’ Harris out of Iron Maiden, for example. And it was whilst preparing an Iron Maiden radio show that I remembered this one. Because Maiden covered this on the B-side (remember them?) to their #11 smash hit “2 Minutes to Midnight”. The song was ‘A Rainbows Gold’, although Maiden decided to drop an ‘a’ instead of their usual ‘h’.

It was originally recorded by a thoroughly obscure British prog outfit called Beckett. So a swift visit to the vinyl graveyard, and here it is, crackles an’ all. They came from Tyneside, they recorded an album, then vanished. Although some of them did end up in Back Street Crawler with Paul Kossoff. Enjoy.

MP3 one – Beckett – A Rainbows Gold

On the subject of Maiden, I recently suffered sat through a 3 DVD set of Bruce Dickinsons solo output. It’s my own fault, I shouldn’t have pissed off the Russian mafia. But now you get the chance to share my pain, as Bruce Bruce warbles his way through the AC/DC pearl, ‘Sin City’.

Now I’m assuming that you’re wondering about the pic of Bruce I’ve used. Well that’s because the next installment of OLR is going to feature one of his pre Samson bands. The mighty Steel. He was so young, he was simply called Bruce, yet to drop his full set of Bruces.

MP3 two – Bruce Dickinson – Sin City – live

All that talk of Samson’n'Steel has sent me rushing back to the NWOBHM for a pure gem. And what could be better than the mighty Wikkyd Vikker! They only managed a single single and an appearance on an Ebony Records compilation. The single came out on the mighty Boogie label in 1983, and when you’ve recorded something this good, why bother doing anything else. Guitarist Mark Evans used to be in another NWOBHM band called Valhalla. Who are not to be confused with the NWOBHM band called Valhalla, who were signed to Neat. There’s a fine line…

MP3 three – Wikkyd BVikker – Black Of The Night

Old, Live ‘n’ Rare Volume 1

Old, Live ‘n’ Rare Volume 1

Dragged from the torpor that passes for my life by the shocking news that John Gallagher from NWOBHM legends Raven reads these hallowed pages, it’s time for the first update of 2010. And that’s two thousand and ten, no matter what the bloody BBC tell you.

It also sees the arrival of a new series called Old, Live ‘n’ Rare. Although bearing in mind my short attention span and the prevalence of shiny objects, it’s always possible that it might be the one and only Old, Live ‘n’ Rare.

It’s a handy title which allows me to post any old gubbins I feel like, so long as it’s old, live and / or rare. Although, I suppose something that is old, rare and live would also qualify. As well as things that are merely old and rare. Whatever, move along before I forget why I’m here.

As a special treat, the first offering is from sunny, snowbound Leith. Ma hame toon. Which means it’s back to the Leith Assembly Rooms (venue of the Mr and Mrs H nuptials). Turn right and you’re into the scandalously derelict Leith Theatre, a venue the toon cooncil have shamefully allowed to disintegrate. Gits. I assume, it’s got nothing to do with the 1976 visit of a pubescent AC/DC, bit I wouldn’t put it past them.

MP3 one – AC/DC – Can I Sit Next To You Girl

Fast forward six years, and it’s off to the New York Palladium, for the first Iron Maiden tour with woe begotten warbler Bruce Bruce in tow. I wasn’t there, as it was a full twelve months later before my sole US visit started with a stag weekend in New York and ended a week later with me becoming an ordained minister in California. Hey, it was the eighties. Fact alert – Iron Maiden were better with Paul Di’anno. If I wanted to listen to overblown, ineptly played prog, I’d dig out the first Marillion album.

MP3 two – Iron Maiden – Iron Maiden

Last, but by now means least, it’s some classic Wimphem from Pete Goalby. The former Trapeze / Uriah Heep singer didn’t deserve to vanish into musical history, but barring some odds and sods session work with the likes of Tigertailz, Slade and John Parr, and a single release under the band name Perfect Strangers, that’s what happened. He actually recorded a solo album back in 1990 that remains unreleased. But here’s one of those lost tracks.

MP3 three – Pete Goalby – Used To Be Your Lover

We Wish You A Lemmy Cliffmas

We Wish You A Lemmy Cliffmas

And a Happy New Year!

And who better to finish off our Cliffmas special than the second greatest Christmas baby ever. Yes, it’s Lemmy, who will be 64 years of age, this very Christmas Eve. Here he is with Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top and Dave Grohl, the latter no-mark performing only his second ever song worth listening to. And the other one also featured Lemmy.

However, proceed with caution for, as befits the Motorhead mainman, he finishes off this Chuck Berry classic with a ho-ho-ho bout of potty mouth. So unless you’re a weegie or a schemy, you’ll want to protect the weans ears from Sir Lemmy.

MP3 one – Lemmy – Run Rudolph Run

Back in the New Year with more musical whimsy.

A Metal Thrashing Mad Cliffmas!

A Metal Thrashing Mad Cliffmas!

Indeed yes! Although I’m not entirely sure that a band called SSS should be allowed into Christmas. After all, it doesn’t seem like an overly Christian name.

And they’re Liverpudlians. So that’s a double whammy.

However, you can’t deny that they’ve stuck to the short, sharp shock of their name with their delightful Christmas ditty ‘Merry ChristmaSSS’. However, I’m sure Jesus would forgive them despite the heathenish message below. I can only assume all the ice and snow has cut down on their hubcap liberation over the last week, hence the humbug. Scouse gits.

MP3 one – SSS – ‘Merry ChristmaSSS’

We’ll be back soon with our final and bestest Cliffmas song. Don’t miss out on Cliffmas Eve, that’s all I can say!

We Wish You A Merry Gothmas!

We Wish You A Merry Gothmas!

They’re strange folks over in Finland. All that suicide, 24 hour long days, then 24 long hour nights, it’s no wonder they all end up going stark raving mad. At least some of the nutters put their madness to good use and end up forming metal and / or goth bands.

Which brings us to the Elven Queen, Tarja Turunen. Formerly of goth-metallers Nightwish, and now a solo artist, she gives every indication of being a bona fide mentalist. Which is how it should be, and why she has long been high on my list of aliens I’d like to be abducted by.

She’s no stranger to the world of Christmas either, despite the Finns all being troll worshipping heathens. And 2009 sees her joining in with three numbers on the catchily titled album “Maailman Kauneimmat Joululaulut”, which I think is Finnish for “We Tried To Deliver Your Parcel But You Were Out”.

She sings, [koff], ‘Maa On Niin Kaunis’, ‘Arkihuolesi Kaikki Heita’ and ‘Heinilla Harkien’. That’s ‘Batteries Not Included’, ‘Auntie Kate’s Pissed Again’ and ‘I’m Choking On A Sixpence’, for non-Finnish readers. And your goth mentalist treat is going to be the full elven choir effect of;

MP3 one – Tarja Turunen – ‘I’m Choking On A Sixpence’

You can’t get it from Amazon, so you’ll need to visit some crazy assed Finnish mail order firm, and try to persuade them to accept money instead of your first born child. Good luck.

That crazy assed tracklist in full;

Tracklist:

1. Maria Lund: Hiljaa, hiljaa
2. Jari Sillanpää: Jouluyö, juhlayö
3. Irina: Sydämeeni joulun teen
4. Veeti Kallio: Kuului laulu enkelten
5. Tarja Turunen: Maa on niin kaunis
6. Mikko Kuustonen: En etsi valtaa loistoa
7. Maria Lund & Jari Sillanpää: Sylvian joululaulu
8. Irina: Varpunen jouluaamuna
9. Mikko Kuustonen: Joulun rauhaa
10. Tarja Turunen & Veeti Kallio: Arkihuolesi kaikki heitä
11. Maria Lund: Kun maas on hanki
12. Jari Sillanpää: Marian poika
13. Tarja Turunen: Heinillä härkien
14. Veeti Kallio: On hanget korkeat
15. Irina & Mikko Kuustonen: Hiljaisin Helsinki

Wang Dang Sweet Cliffmas!

Wang Dang Sweet Cliffmas!

What the Screaming Great Gonzo is that picture of two Communist bottom bandits gettin’ up to all sorts of UnAmerican and downright nefarious practices doing here? Don’t you know that the Motor City Madman is the single most heterosexual man on the face of the planet. Ever. If anybody comes ringing my bell, dressed like that, wasailing their homosexualist Satanic wares in my face, asking to jingle my Christmas balls, then I reserve my God given American right to shoot first, and skin them and mount them later. And by mount I mean stuffing. And by stuffing…goddamit! You know what happens to atheists, sodomites and liberals. It’s an arrow up the ass from ole Uncle Ted.

So a merry Christmas to all the Christian out there. The rest of you can take my crossbow and shove it up your UnAmerican asses. Unless you’re into that sort of thing, what with you being bottom banditing heathens. You can all go to Hell. There’s only one sort of bare ass round here, and that’s Fred Bear ass. Killed and grilled. Just like ol’ Rudolph (below)

MP3 one – Ted Nugent – Deck The Halls

Merry Wimphem Cliffmas!

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Apart from me beating someone about the head, for claiming that Queen were better than REO Speedwagon.

Which is why Merry Cliffmas Part 2 sees us abandoning Rob Halford, as his leather clad hand encircles our Christmas balls. Instead, it’s a fluffy, polar skin coat that encircles us, snuggling and warming us for Yuletide joy.

Y’see, REO rule. Yes, they do. Masters of the rawk, of the ballad, of the wimphem, and now of the Christmas tune, their cuddly perms have dominated the world of music since 1967, releasing such awesome albums of sheer awesomeness as “Ridin’ the Storm Out”, “You Can Tune a Piano but You Can’t Tuna Fish” and “The Earth, a Small Man, His Dog and a Chicken”.

Now 2009 sees them taking over the world of the Christmas album, putting all others to shame with some more displays of awesome. No-one else will ever be able to play ‘The First Noel’, ‘Winter Wonderland’, ‘Silent Night’, ‘Deck the Halls’, ‘Little Drummer Boy, ‘God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen’ or ‘Joy to the World’. without the knowledge that REO Speedwagon did it better.

MP3 one – Deck The Halls

MP3 two – Joy To The World

You can get it from Amazon, so why not become more awesomer. Buy it here.

Here’s a bonus REO Rawk masterpiece.

MP3 two – REO Speedwagon – Back On The Road Again