Welcome back to Girls Aloud week, where we’re we’ll be delving into the real truth behind the wildly successful girl group, the one unrevealed in their official ‘autobiography’ “A Thing Of Unspeakable Horror”.
This final installment looks at the true talent behind Girls Aloud – the divine Nicola Roberts.
Nicola Maria Roberts was born on the 5 October 1985, the daughter of former English football hardman, Graham Roberts.
The divine Nicola was originally eliminated before the final stage, after the other girls said she was “too hot” and could “sing better than us”. But jealousy was put to one side another contestant, Nicola Ward, pulled out of the show after objecting to the show’s contract.
The luscious Roberts once said that she considered turning to alcohol and drugs to cope with her insecurities, but sadly my van broke down on the M1, laden down with Bucky and some temazepam. By the time I arrived, she had changed her mind.
Fat ugly bastard shitebag, so-called DJ, lardass Chris Moyles once attacked her verbally, as he’s too hit scared to have it large in person (unless it’s a lardburgher). Roberts responded to his attacks, saying: “I can’t stand him [Chris Moyles]. It’s no surprise I look miserable with him on my case.” She then went onto say: “And he’s such a good-looking bloke himself, isn’t he?” She continued, “enough’s enough, Chris. Shut the fuck up. This argument doesn’t bother me any more. I’ve grown out of it, it’s six years old. His obsession with me needs to stop.”
I’m happy to kick his arse anytime and provide any other service Nicola deems appropriate. Can travel and have own bottle of oil.
Todays treat is a live version of the not heard very often ‘Graffiti My Soul‘.
The best of album is up for grabs right now for under three quid! That’s cheaper than a Leith gobble. Get it here.
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