The Best Of British Part 1

One has to ask what the point of having trading standards officers in this country is, when an album can go on the market with a title like that. I mean, really! But then I suppose calling it “The Best Of Neat Records Second & Third Division Bands Now That All The Half Decent Ones Have Been Snaffled Up By Major Labels, Damn Them All To Hell” wouldn’t have been nearly as snappy.

Things start off with one of the better second division bands, in the shape of Persian Risk.

To be fair, it wasn’t all their fault they never quite cracked it. The Tygers Of Pan Tang nicked their original vocalist, then after their Neat debut, guitarist Phil Campbell (pictured above, yes, really) buggered off to Motorhead. Which meant by the time this emerged, the only original member left was their bass player. Singer Carl Sentance is still going strong, having gone on to work with Geezer Butler, Tokyo Rose, Krokus, Don Airey, Phil Chapman and more.

MP3 one – Persian Risk – Too Different

Next up is Marseille. I bought this single when it came out, as a limited edition silver disc. Of course, it never actually seemed to appear on a normal disc, as the five people who bought into their US style melodic hard rock all got the “limited” one. I still think this is quite good, even though they were a bunch of chancers who’d been on the go since the mid-seventies (and released records on the same record label as Nazareth), and were just pretendy NWOBHMers. Here are some actual facts. They were originally called AC/DC until the Aussie lot came along. Their guitarist, Neil Buchanan, is the same Neil Buchanan who presented kiddies TV show “Art Attack”! They reformed last year with a new singer and are recording and touring again, although I last saw them supporting Whitesnake in 1979. Gulp.

MP3 two – Marseille – Walking On A High Wire

This installment comes to an end with Stratus. Now if I tell you that Stratus were a NWOBHM supergroup, don’t worry. You haven’t had an aneurysm. The band featured Praying Mantis members, Tino Troy, Bernie Shaw (now with Uriah Heep), Chris Troy and Iron Maiden drummer Clive Burr.

Originally known as Clive Burr’s Escape, they only released one album, “Throwing Shapes”, before everyone realised that the Americans did AOR much better, and that a production budget of thruppence was unlikely to worry Journey. I have the album filed away somewhere, so be worried. However, this is a non-album treat!

MP3 three – Stratus – Top Of The Mountain

Part 2, when it arrives, will restore the metal with entries from Warfare and Jaguar. As well as the shining stars of the UK AOR firmament, Emerson! That last bit might be a lie, if my memories of their headlining show in Embra abck in 1983 is anything to go by.

Brute Force and Ignorance – The Final Countdown

Brute Force and Ignorance – The Final Countdown

We’re looking at Brute Force, a compilation album released at the height of NWOBHM frenzy, when record companies were falling over themselves to cater to the whims of 14 year old pubescent boys, obsessed with the thought of something electric strapped round their necks and slung low down between their legs.

After a surprisingly metal free Part 3, things come to a close today, with the final three tracks which are actually, honest guv, metal! There’s a shocker.

First up, is a controversial record from the not very good Xero. Controversial, because upon its release as a single, the Evil EMI came along with writs, galoshes and rubber truncheons to force it from the market. Why? Not on grounds of taste, but because prior to Bruce Bruce joining Samson, he had recorded one of the tracks that appeared on the B-side of this single from NWOBHM no-marks, Xero. But once unveiled as the shiny frontman of Iron Maiden, the Man didn’t want the kids to hear him squealing like a pig stuck on a pike. Or something.

MP3 one – Xero – Hold On

Who knows who Cryer were? Not me. I know they released one single and that one of the members was called Graham Careless! Which is two more things than anyone needs to know about them. I’ve heard worse than ‘Day To Day’, but you can hear why they went nowhere. And as for releasing a single called ‘The Single’, well, only Girl can get away with that.

MP3 two – Cryer – Day To Day

Things come to a shuddering halt with the boogiefied May West, a band so obscure, even I know nothing about them. I do remember Paul Suter praising them in Sounds, but that’s no guarantee of anything.

MP3 three – May West – Black Queen

And so, it comes to an end, the marathon that was Brute Force. And what’s next I hear you cry?

Well, what about this!

Featuring Persian Risk, Marseille, Stratus, Warfare, Jaguar, Emerson, Dianno, Limelight and Baby Tuckoo! Drooling? You should be.

Brute Force and Ignorance Part 3

We’re looking at Brute Force, a compilation album released at the height of NWOBHM frenzy, when record companies were falling over themselves to cater to the whims of 14 year old pubescent boys, obsessed with the thought of something electric strapped round their necks and slung low down between their legs.

Last time around, things had started to dip ominously with the pretty rubbish Prowler and the not at all metal Colin Towns, only being salvaged by a pretty decent tune from Sledgehammer.

However, as we abandon Side 1 and head for Side 2 (ask your gramps, kiddies), things start to pick up a bit. Of course I say that, but I’m kind of lying. Well, totally lying. Because the first tune is from another metal beast. Erstwhile Gillan drummer, Mick Underwood. You read that right. A track from the drummer in Gillan. To be fair, I did like Quatermass and even Strapps, but did the world really need a solo single from Mick? I suspect not, as you listen to the A-side, just below. And, yes, it really was released as a single.

MP3 one – Mick Underwood – Earthquake At The Savoy

Luckily for us, things then get back on track with the arrival of White Spirit. Sadly now just a footnote in metal history thanks to them harbouring Janick Gers pre Gillan / Iron Maiden, they were actually a bit good. Had a major label come along at the right time, who knows, it might have been them. Unfortunately, post Neat Records, it was MCA who picked them up. You know, the band who killed Diamond Head.

MP3 two – White Spirit – Back To The Grind

And this is how Gillan got to nick him.

I saw them at the Embra Odeon gig. I was a bit out of it, so don’t have much recall, but former GHMI stars, Chevy, may also have been on the bill.

And now for a band who had more chances than is fair. And blew them all. Mainly because they weren’t so hot. However, Tony Iommi of Black Sabbath was their bezzy friend, which explains the number of chances they had. Yup, it’s Brummie losers, Quartz. They’d been on the go for about a thousand years pre NWOBHM, but the chancers decided to have another go. Gits. Their first single had come up back in 1977, but this was the level they were best suited for.

I’ve still not quite forgiven Iommi for wasting £2.99 on their self titled debut. They even blagged a support on a Rush tour, you know. Tony, if you’re reading. A refund would be nice.

Their keyboard player, Geoff Nicholls, ended up hidden behind a curtain for most of Black Sabbaths eighties and nineties tours. I’d have been ashamed to be seen in public after this as well.

MP3 three – Quartz – Can’t Say No To You