Jailbait and I just can’t wait

Jailbait and I just can’t wait

If there is one thing that musicians seem very keen on, then it’s underage poontang. The world of rawk is littered with examples of young lust and this may turn out to be Part 1 of a series.

Piss Party

And first up it’s Starz with ‘So Young, So Bad’. Now this girl isn’t even close to legal, but what you would expect from a band who released a yellow vinyl album called “Piss Party”. We may return to Starz another time for ‘Cherry Baby’. Yes, really.

Starz – So Young, So Bad

Good morning little schoolgirl

‘Good Morning Little Schoolgirl’ is legendary amongst perves with the likes of Rod ‘Rod’ Stewart having spilt their milk covering it. But no version sounds as mad, bad and dangerous to know as the one by Swedish retro doomsters Mac Blagik. Be scared, he does ask for his lemon to be squeezed.

Mac Blagik – Good Morning Little Schoolgirl

Loudon Wainwright III

One of the greatest songs of all time is ‘Motel Blues’ by Loudon Wainwright III. However, that doesn’t stop it being mucky. It got even muckier when Loudon revisited it 30 years later. He’s now old enough to be her Great Grandpa instead of her Daddy.

Loudon Wainwright III – Motel Blues

Clifford T Ward

The king of mucky beggars is, of course, Chuck Berry. Which made it all the surprising that girlyman floppy haired seventies sensitive guy, Clifford T Ward, should turn to ‘Sweet Little Sixteen’ when he thought no-one was listening. It’s always the quiet ones.

Clifford T Ward – Sweet Little Sixteen

Patto

Patto are much beloved of the kind of Guardian / The Word subscriber who still thinks tweed is making a comeback and goes to the acoustic tent at Latitude for vibes, man. Maybe they should listen to the lyrics. [koff]

Verse:
Hold me back; you’re much too young to understand the game, your mother never heard you scream like that in pain, the way you scratch your body is all in vain, your schoolgirl eyes are driving me in sane.

Verse:
Hold me back; the look that’s on your face just makes me pale, you keep on licking your lips I’m gonna land in jail, your sighin’ moanin’ tellin’ me I can’t fail, you keep on braggin’ what you got ain’t for sale.

Chorus:
Thirteen summers pass by your door, you think it’s time to score, alright, don’t tell all the neighbor boys your mama is out of town; Thirteen summers got left behind the minute you found out indeed, that your blue eyes could hypnotize, drive a man insane.

Or maybe they did. The dirty bandits. It’s always the middle class ones.

Patto – Hold Me Back

More soon. Maybe.

6 comments

  1. Thumper

    I reckon the key text here could be “Christine Sixteen”, not least because the lyrics suggest the singer hangs around outside school gates.

  2. Mr H

    Pah! Sixteen! Practically past it, if some of the other offenders are anything to go by. I would have expected better (worse?) from the Mighty Kiss.

  3. Thumper

    Sixteen not Jailbait!?!? Hmm, depends where the jail is, I suppose.

    There’s not going to be any Bay City Rollers or Gary Glitter on this is there? You know what I mean. I think you should let your regular readers know if there’s going to be stuff that’s Not Safe For Civilisation.

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