None More Black Death Disco 2009 Part 10

None More Black Death Disco 2009 Part 10

Welcome back to Mr H’s Death Disco 2009

If you’re confused about what this entails, then take a look back at Part 1 for guidance. Otherwise, prepare yourself for the next track listed down below.

Goth girls are easy. So said electrogothsters Lesbian Bed Death, and who am I to disagree. After all, if it wasn’t for goth girls and their easiness, my teen years would have been considerably more explosive. Which is why I used to hang arond La Sorbonne after dark of a weekend, suffering through the likes of Southern Death Cult, The Sisterhood and Nico playing live. Although whether Nico counted as alive is open to debate. However, even after all these decades I still have a certain fondness for the music, if not the craven, identikit wasters who call themselves goths.

As before, a beautifully designed pictographical clue is down below somewhere to assist you in the identification of the delicate and fragrant artiste.

So without further ado, I present the latest part of the 2009 Death Disco! Apply foundation here, and click to download. Or you can play them all as they arrive in the Death Box over on the right hand side of your screen.

Pictogram representation somewhere below here.

Go here for Goth Girl Of The Week – yes, really.

Things That Should Not Be

Ozzy Osbourne
Prince Of Darkness, my arse. For sure, I saw hom live loads of times, but I was the second most wasted person there after him, my enjoyment may have been enhanced to a point where a drunk going “woo” for an hour and a half seemed like a good idea. It wasn’t. Ozzy sucks.

Type O Negative
Piss taking goth metallers who only become briefly famous due to mainman Pete Steele getting his cock out for Playgirl magazine. Note: getting your cock out and letting people take pictures of it makes you a, um, cock. You cock.

60s Status Quo
Now the Quo may have become the Kings Ov Boogie in the seventies, but in their preening, peacock finery, they were absolutely lamentable. At least they learned error of ways, fired the ugliest one, and briefly ruled the world.

I Have An Idea
Let’s take that mentally ill fella who used to wail like a distressed gnu and get a bunch of open air cock wielders to back him on a cover of the paisley patterned sixties Quo. This is a thing that should not be.

The brave and the foolish may click here.

Don’t blame me. You were warned.

Lords Of The Dance

When I were a lad, we’d often spend the early part of the night (pre midnight) hanging around a dodgy pub / club called La Sorbonne, before that 4am bottle of dark Furstenburg in Sneeky Petes. We didn’t know it at the time, but it was a goth pub. Except goth hadn’t been formally invented.

However, we’d sup at the front, then stagger through the back to see the likes of Southern Death Cult (never guessing that the pasty faced wee boy fronting them would grow up to be Native American Shaman, Ian Astbury), The Sisterhood, Nico and, my favourites, Lords Of The New Church. Formed by ex Damned guitarist Brian James and featuring 100% nutter Stiv Bators on vocals, they were a genuinely dangerous proposition, as you never knew what the hell they would get up to.

Apart from shooting up and banging skinny girls, that is.

They were destined never to make it, despite some brilliant records. However, thanks to the power of the internet you can now rejoice in;

1. Russian Roulette
2. Method To My Madness
and
3. their killer version of Like A Virgin

You can get all the Lords you’ll ever need, for under a fiver,here.

Madness video below, where the late Stiv enjoins ECT viewers to take coke instead of smack, cos it’s cheaper. Proper telly in them days.

Kerrazy Kover Korner

A couple of days ago, smooth singing, easy listening icon George ‘George’ Benson was in town, entertaining 3000 or so elderly ladies, in the modern day version of an old folks home tea dance. Naturally, I turned down various entreaties to lower the average age by a good couple of decades. These days I only attract ladies of a certain age which either makes me well past it, or John Barrowman. Chances I can’t afford to take.

However, after a few hours of gently pottering around, testing out assorted park benches for levels of comfort, I actually remembered that George ‘George’ Benson used to be a top notch jazz guitarist. Now, that was a long, long time ago, so it took some digging around in the dark recesses of the vinyl cupboard before I came across the following gem;

Yes, not only did the super smotth Gurratest Lurve Ov All man cover the Jefferson Airplane classic, back in 1971; he named an entire album after it. And he got Herbie Hancock and Billy Cobham to join in. When they were still good. Amazing. Steal the title track here. Buy it here.

Which naturally made me think of my favourite electro gothsters, Collide. Who also covered ‘White Rabbit’, albeit it in a radically different form. They’re working hard on new material, and you really ought to buy their entire back catalogue here. Or be cheap, and steal the cover here.

Of course, some times the originals are the best, so you may as well have that as well. I’m more of an early seventies Jefferson Starship man myself, but the 1965 Jefferson Airplane lineup are getting back together for a festival show in the US. Find out more at founding bass player, Bob Harveys web site. Steal the original here, or grab the budget best of, for under a fiver, here.

And because I’m such a great guy, you can have a listen to a live version by Collide here.

The Great GOTH War

Master!

…………………………….Apprentice!

………………………………………………..Heartborne, 7th Seeker

……………..Warrior!

………Disciple!

In me the Wishmaster

So where were you in the great GOTH wars? Whadda ya mean what GOTH wars? I refer, of course to the NIGHTWISH v TARJA WAR of 2005 when the beastlord TUOMAS rose up with his minions to overthrow his rightful Empress, the one true TARJA.

Now, I’ll admit I was 100% on the side of TARJA from the beginning, not only because she is a crazy DIVA, which is exactly what you want from a GOTHstress, despite what the evil TUOMAS say. But, and I cannot emphasise this enough, she is also the hottest ALIEN ever to rise up for the Lost World of Agharti.

However, I was willing to let time decide the ultimate VICTOR in the GOTH wars, and now that both have released new albums it’s time to find out who rules the world of GOTH! “My Winter Storm” by TARJA came out first in a welter of special editions and was a mixed bag of the good, the great and the garbage (hello, ALICE COOPERs ‘Poison’). But “I Walk Alone”, “Damned and Divine”, “Lost Northern Star” and “The Reign” can hold their heads high amongst the operatic ones best.

Meanwhile, NIGHTWISH turned away from the Lost World of Agharti, instead heading to the EVIL ELVEN kingdoms to recruit former Alyson Avenue frontwoman Anette Olzon.

“Dark Passion Play” saw 175 additional musicians being brought in for what was, sadly, a rather generic METAL release, shorn of the mystery and wonder of TARJA. The EVIL ELF Anette was no match for the wonders of what had gone before, with a good, if expressionless mainstream rock voice. It’s a solid album, but shorn of the ALIEN wonder that had made NIGHTWISH special.

So, really, there was no winner. Much like the Osztrák–Magyar Monarchia, NIGHTWISH sans TARJA leaves us with two beleaguered nations, beaten, battered and bruised. Destined to remain in thrall to the might of years gone by. Until the reunion tour of 2012!

You can LISTEN to Tarja perform Damned Vampires And Gothic Divine here.
You can LISTEN to Nightwish minus Tarja Bye Bye Beautiful here.
You can LISTEN to Nightwish with Tarja Wishmaster here.

Special BONUS LISTEN – Tarja performs Ave Maria

You can STEAL Damned Vampires And Gothic Divine mp3HERE!
You can STEAL Bye Bye Beautiful mp3HERE!
You can STEAL Wishmaster mp3HERE!

You can buy the best of Nightwish here.
You can buy Tarjas album here.
You can get the post Tarja Nightwish here here.

Watch Tarja below

Skinny Ass GOTH chick photo supplement

Skinny Ass GOTH chick photo supplement, especially for Gilbert Wham Esq, of this parish.

Crazy Ass GOTH Chicks

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m all in favour of crazy ass GOTH chicks. I’ve had some very pleasurable minutes spent in their company. If you’re one of those people who like it a bit freaky, then I heartily recommend you trying one out. But there are a couple of provisos.

1) Avoid crazy ass fat GOTH chicks. I made that mistake once, many years ago, and still wake up screaming every few months.

b) Don’t let crazy ass GOTH chicks sing. It’s just wrong. The make believe pretendy crazy ass GOTH chicks are fine. The Evanescencescesces of this world are bearable. They’re not real crazy ass GOTH chicks, just chubsters who want to be pop stars. And as such, they are likely to put out more often than not. Low self esteem, cheaper than rohypnol and just as effective.

But the real nutters are beyond the pale. Well, not actually beyond the pale, they’re extremely pale. That’s one of the ways you can tell they’re GOTHs. But what comes out of their mouths is something you will regret hearing for the rest of your days.

So it with no little pleasure that I present to you in groundbreaking video format, the Queen of crazy ass GOTH chicks, Diamanda Galas.

Mere words cannot describe the sheer frightfulness of La Galas in full flight. It’s nearly as bad as when her brother William broke down in tears after playing football for Arsenal last week. Shocking.

Come back in a few days when I shall be ruminating over Her Majestys Great British Eurovision entry, which will be decided this very night. And it’s guaranteed GOTH free!

You can also STEAL the video HERE!