Yup, for the next wee while, we’re going to be talking about chicks, man.
Now, we like chicks here at GHMI. They smell good, they’re soft to the touch, and if you’re lucky, they’ll put out. However, one thing they’re not so good at, is the Rawk.
So I’ll be firing up a few examples of girls singing, good and bad, for your perusal, amusal and disposal.
And today, we’re talking about Doro Pesch.
I first saw the delightful Doro way back in nineteen eighty mumble, when she was still fronting Warlock, a slightly rubbish, lumpy German metal band. They may have been supporting Iron Maiden, but it was a long time ago.
Fast forward a couple of decades and a bit, and I saw her opening for Saxon earlier this month, and she was fan-bloody-tastic, although I did check carefully for any signs of an invasion, after all the Teutonic shouting and gesticulating that had went on. So here is your metal treat for today. A Billy Idol cover performed by a German metal queen. Don’t say I’m not good to you!
Well, you’ve waited long enough, so prepare yourself as I unveil, in order of appearance, the lineup for this years Death Disco.
And they were;
1. Krokus – Long Stick Goes Boom
2. April Wine – Weeping Widow
3. Sad Cafe – My Oh My
4. The Commodores vs. Lil’ Kim – Brick House
5. Trace Adkins – Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
6. Ted Nugent – Wang Dang Sweet Poontang
7. The Chi-Lites – Are You My Woman
8. Atomic Rooster – Stand By Me
9. Amon Amarth – Guardians Of Asgard
10. Tiamat – Brighter Than The Sun
11. Wet Willie – Baby Fat
12. Desmond Child – Love On A Rooftop
13. Motorhead – Hellraiser
14. Vinnie Vincent Invasion – Shoot U Full Of Love
15. Autograph – Turn Up The Radio
16. Angel – The Tower
17. The Meads Of Asphodel – Assault And Battery
18. Monster Magnet – Bummer
19. Hawkwind – Spirit Of The Age
And now, here are the same songs, in order of most downloads, the DD Charts.
1) Monster Magnet – Bummer
2) Ted Nugent – Wang Dang Sweet Poontang
3) Sad Cafe – My Oh My
4) Trace Adkins – Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
5) Tiamat – Brighter Than The Sun
6) Angel – The Tower
7) Krokus – Long Stick Goes Boom
=) Wet Willie – Baby Fat
9) Hawkwind – Spirit Of The Age
=) Vinnie Vincent Invasion – Shoot U Full Of Love
11) April Wine – Weeping Widow
= ) The Commodores vs. Lil’ Kim – Brick House
= ) Atomic Rooster – Stand By Me
14) Autograph – Turn Up The Radio
15) Motorhead – Hellraiser
16) The Meads Of Asphodel – Assault And Battery
17) Amon Amarth – Guardians Of Asgard
18) The Chi-Lites – Are You My Woman
19) Desmond Child – Love On A Rooftop
So what does this say about the readership here at GHMI? It says you’re a bunch of mucky beggars, and that I’m ashamed of you. Why? Because 2 of the top 3 had pictograms of nekkid ladies bits, and the third had the word poontang. Filthmongers, the lot of you. Should you wish an explanation of any of the clues, now that the bands and songs have been revealed, feel free to ask. But I might just call you an idiot, so it’s your call.
If you’re confused about what this entails, then take a look back at Part 1 for guidance. Otherwise, prepare yourself for the next track listed down below.
The problem with being restricted to 19 tracks, is the limit it places on genres. I mean, there’s not enough room for all the death metal and space rock I’d like to play. If only there was some way of combining the two? Why doesn’t someone just form a band that mixes up death metal and space rock. They could call it deathrockspacemetal or spacemetaldeathrock, or something similar. What do you mean? There is a deathmetalspacerock band! Ya beauty!
So without further ado, I present the latest part of the 2009 Death Disco! Time to get your battle armour, corpse paint and swooshes at the ready, and click to download. Or you can play them all as they arrive in the Death Box over on the right hand side of your screen.
And here’s your carefully selected pictogram clue for today.
Yup, Christmas is quite literally inches away, bringing with it tidings of co-omfort and joy. Of course, it also brings us to the end of the GHMI Christmas Goodies Giveaway Thingumyjig.
But we’re going out in style, for today, Christmas Eve, marks the birthday of the second most famous Christmas baby of them all, a prophet who also spent years in the wilderness, while lesser mortals poo-poohed him. But I was a true believer back in ‘79 and remain a true believer today.
It annoys me that there are still people out there failing to pay suitable fealty to the greatest rock and roller of them all. Our Lord Lemmy. But there’s still time, while he still walks among us. It can’t be long before he’s called back to the Metal Valhalla, so don’t delay.
This year, our Lord Lemmy has reached down to Christmas, and given of Himself. Truly, he has teamed up with the Archangel Gibbons from the Church of ZZ Top, and bestowed a Chuck Berry classic upon us.
It’s time to have something for the ladies out there. We’ve been rocking hard of late, but sometimes it’s nice to sit back, relax, picture an attractive Swedish lady, perhaps relaxing in a jacuzzi, clothesless and, possibly, naked.
Maybe she has been birching herself, and needs someone to reach the places she can’t manage herself. It could be she needs a good hard pumicing, a volcanic rock that is a solidified frothy lava, not uncommon in Sweden.
Um, what was I talking about? Oh, yes, Nina Persson, the Cardigans vocalist who has the dreadfully named side project A Camp, with Sparklehorse fella Mark Linkous. Although I have no idea what that last bit is. I nicked it from Wiki. Anyway, the fragrant and possibly polished Nina has recorded ‘Silent Night’, especially for you, the plebs, this Christmas.
So today’s Christmas classic is ‘Stille Nacht’. You can hear it here.
Come Christmas Day, I’ll be broadcasting Christmas joy to the world on GRTR between 8 and 10pm GMT, and broadcasting Christmas Blues to the world on Boxing Day.
Everyone knows that Christmas isn’t really about Jesus Christ and the birth of a new religion. Nor is it about Saint Nicholas and his dodgy night time visits to the homes of small children. No, Christmas, or Axlmas as it is to be renamed, is all about Bill Bailey aka W. Axl Rose, his Guns and his Roses.
This year, as we celebrate the second coming of Axl, remember to buy everyone you know a copy of “Chinese Democracy”, so that our Lord God Axl can be kept cocooned in the world of crazy he has inhabited for so long. But please remember, an Axl isn’t just for Axlmas. It’s for life.
So today’s Christmas classic is from one-time Gunner, no hard feelings whatsoever, Gilby Clarke, with his rendition of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Axl Rose’. You can hear it here.
Come Christmas Day, I’ll be broadcasting Christmas joy to the world on GRTR between 8 and 10pm GMT, and broadcasting Christmas Blues to the world on Boxing Day.
Should be good.
Give the breath of life to St Axl for another millennium, buy Chinese Democracy here.
Ozzy Osbourne
Prince Of Darkness, my arse. For sure, I saw hom live loads of times, but I was the second most wasted person there after him, my enjoyment may have been enhanced to a point where a drunk going “woo” for an hour and a half seemed like a good idea. It wasn’t. Ozzy sucks.
Type O Negative
Piss taking goth metallers who only become briefly famous due to mainman Pete Steele getting his cock out for Playgirl magazine. Note: getting your cock out and letting people take pictures of it makes you a, um, cock. You cock.
60s Status Quo
Now the Quo may have become the Kings Ov Boogie in the seventies, but in their preening, peacock finery, they were absolutely lamentable. At least they learned error of ways, fired the ugliest one, and briefly ruled the world.
I Have An Idea
Let’s take that mentally ill fella who used to wail like a distressed gnu and get a bunch of open air cock wielders to back him on a cover of the paisley patterned sixties Quo. This is a thing that should not be.
Welcome to Part 3 of International Tom Jones Week, the one week of the year when the wobbly Welsh warbler receives his proper due as the Greatest Singer Of The 20th Century And Beyond.
The Great Man is, of course, a Master of all forms of music and, in addition to his many other titles, is also the “King Of Rock’n'Roll”.
Elvis Presley – fat balladeer Jerry Lee Lewis – mad speedofile, and Little Richard – mad transvestite,
only Thomas the Jones is the true “King Of Rock’n'Roll”.
feel the power as he exudes his manliness at former jailbait Brooke Shields, requesting that she be his “Little Queenie“.
Now listen to well known toileteer Mister Chuck Berry as he labours away in the knowledge that he will never be as good as Thomas the Jones
Yup, it’s that time of year, with pa-ternity tests pending, that the Mr H Glee Club heads off to take their country rockin’ sounds to the internet free / mobile dead zones of our beloved United States of America.
Local law enforcement permitting, we should be back around about the beginning of September, but don’t panic – the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill (closed Wednesdays) will be in the safe hands of Lil’ Lindy-Lou. Well, hand, ever since the mincer incident. So stop on by for all your dead meat needs (we rent trailers by the hour).
If you happy to be over here, looking for pleasure, me and the boys will be appearing in Bald Knob, Arkansas, Blue Ball, Delaware, French Lick, Indiana, Gay Head, Massachusetts, Square Butt, Montana, Humptulips, Washington, Pussy Creek, Ohio and Toadsuck Arkansas.
If you can’t make it here’s a rare, live recording of the Mr H Glee Club to keep you warm at night.
Welcome to Part 2 of International Tom Jones Week, the one week of the year when the wobbly Welsh warbler receives his proper due as the Greatest Singer Of The 20th Century And Beyond.
The Great Man is, of course, a Master of all forms of music, so even though many have laid claim to the title “Kings Of Boogie” including; Savoy Brown (who recorded a song stating so),
the Great British Status Quo, and
the Mighty Foghat,
only Thomas the Jones is the true King Of Boogie.
Now, point, scoff and mock at the Great British Status Quo, as they show themselves for the tepid and torpid labourers got lucky the are, as they attempt the same song! Hah!
Watch the Great British Status Quo in action below;
Not enough people celebrate International Tom Jones Week, the one week of the year when the wobbly Welsh warbler receives his proper due as the Greatest Singer Of The 20th Century And Beyond. But we here at GHMI feel it only fit and proper to acknowledge his genius.
Not many folks can take an ordinary song, and with the help of a special guest, some glitz, glamour and an oompah band, make it something so extraordinary. Well, TJ is that man.
To begin International Tom Jones Week, we look no further than that other legend, Sir Donny Osmond for the glitz and glamour. Marvel at how they take a piece of pap like ‘Boy From New York City‘, and turn it into a glistening jewel, replete with neat name change to ensure the homosexualists steer clear.
Something The Manhattan Transfer should have thought about before foisting their inferior version upon us.
Come back soon, when Thomas the Jones shows the namby pamby boogieteers, Status Quo, just how to rock.
