It was while messing around with the recent Samson retrospective that I got to thinking about Mr Russ Ballard.

Once upon a time, the former Unit4+2 and Argent man, was the go to guy for rock bands looking for that elusive hit. But, oddly, Ballard wasn’t actually a hack for hire, unlike the folks who get hauled in to help out bands nowadays. Instead, he was making records of his own, trying to get that big solo hit, only for some blooming rock band to lift a tuneo f one of his albums, and hit the top of the charts. See Hello, Ace Frehley, Rainbow, AIIZ, Uriah Heep and more. The money must have been nice, but I’m sure he would rather have had the No 1 smasheroonie. So, this time around, I’m got the magic vinyl ripping devil box out, and have assaulted my vinyl collection for the following hissy fits.

MP3 one – Russ Ballard – Since You Been Gone – one of the big ones, thanks to Rainbow covering it, this is the Ballard original.

Although, Herr Blackmore and his troops actually nicked the arrangement of the Dutch girl band, Clout, who had a massive Euro hit with it. Here’s their version.

MP3 two – Clout – Since You Been Gone

Next up is the Ballard original of the nearest Samson ever got to a hit;

MP3 three – Russ Ballard – Riding With The Angels

And the cranked up Samson cover;

MP3 four – Samson – Riding With The Angels

Now, that Clout tune got me rather hot under the collar, and off the Ballard track, but had me rooting around in the 7″ box for some other gems, and I turned up a copy of their ‘Oowatanite’ single. It’s an absolute peach, and that rarerst of things, an April Wine cover! Rarer still, it’s a cover of a tune written by the original April Wine bass player! Maple Leaf Wimphem indeed!

Here’s the Clout cover;

MP3 five – Clout – Oowatanite

Now I love April Wine, especially the really early stuff, when they were churning out Hot Chocolate covers, and their “On Record” album is one of the finest wimphem records ever. Although this tune was the opening number on “Stand Back”, their fourth studio album, released in 1975. Fact alert! Jim Clench, the aforementioned bass player left April Wine to join Bachman Turner Overdrive. So let’s rock (mildly) with the April Wine original.

MP3 six – April Wine – Oowatanite

Russ Ballard is still working away. Check out his website

Most of his stuff is out of print, although you can get an anthology from Amazon. Buy it here.

Yes, it’s that time of year again, that special day that the United Nations has set aside to celebrate the many achievements of Scotch jakeys throughout the years.

As befits International Scotch Jakey day, no-one is entirely sure what day it falls upon, what with all the bevvy an’ that. But it’s generally agreed that it falls upon the anniversary of the death of AC/DC singer, Bon Scott, the patron saint of Scotch Jakeys. Of course, no-one is entirely sure what day he died on, what with all the bevvy an’ that, but it was around about now. Ish.

The last time we visited AC/DC in this parish, we went all the way back to a show at Leith Town Hall in 1976. So this time, let’s fast forward to 1977 and partake of a track recorded live in the American colonies. To be exact, Miami, Florida, a town that may well have been confused by their nomenclature. But here they are;

MP3 one – AC/DC – Problem Child

A couple of years later, and they were in the studio, rehearsing and demoing for what would be the “Highway To Hell” album. We’re going to check in one of those numbers with;

MP3 two – AC/DC – Get It Hot

Shortly afterwards, Bon Scott shuffled off to the great Ball o’ Kirriemuir in the sky.

This left weegie midget, Malky Young to keep the great jakey flag flying, something he has done proudly for many decades since, including the time he was so jakied oot, he was replaced by his very own looky-likey, Stevie Young from NWOBHM boogieteers, Starfighters. So, let’s finish up with a couple of latter day Malky tunes. First up, here’s the boys larking around in a French radio station, with some garlic sniffing, surrender monkeys;

MP3 three – AC/DC – Highway To Hell

And we’ll finish with the VH1 live version of

MP3 four – AC/DC – Riff Raff

Split Beaver. Who were shit. They managed somehow to get past a split single with Savage, and move onto an entire album, issued by Heavy Metal Records. Who were shit. And not just because they unleashed the Handsome Beasts upon us. No, Split Beaver were shit all by themselves. Listen to the awfulness of the delightfully named ‘Gimme Head’, and tell me otherwise.

MP3 one – Split Beaver – Gimme Head

With that out of the way, let’s move on to a different level of awfulness with, oh bugger, Grim Reaper.

Somehow, Grim Reaper managed a career of sorts, despite Sounds reporting in 1983 that “Grim Reaper bring their own brand of frolicsome fun to you at the following venues;”
Redditch Valley Club June 3
Bradford Bensons 7
Worcester Waterside Club 23
Kidderminster Market Tavern 24
Runcorn Cherry Tree July 20

They started off on no-budget indie, Ebony Records, but by some fluke ended up signed to a proper label in the shape of RCA Records, who put out their 1987 album “Rock You to Hell”. But we’re going way back in time to listen to a pre debut album version of their classic ‘See You In Hell’. Scarily, they reformed a couple of year back, and vocalist Steve Grimmett who also wailed through albums by Onslaught and Lionsheart also has a new band called Grimmstine. He’s still fat.

FACT ALERT! Their 1985 video for ‘Fear No Evil’, in which the band fights an evil wolf man and frees his slaves, was reused by US tossers Weezer as the video for their 2005 single ‘We Are All on Drugs’.

MP3 two – Grim Reaper – See You In Hell

Finally, for this episode, it’s time for some wimphem. Mind you, anything to wash away the taste of the last two track would be welcome. So we’re going to go for some “rare, live” (as the lawyers insist on calling it) Cheap Trick. This was recored one night in 1978 (possibly on my birthday, but who knows with the crazy assed colonial approach to dates) at the Capitol Theatre, Passiac, New Jersey. So, seeing us out tonight, here are, the one, the only Cheap Trick and ‘Southern Girls’. Back soon, in a Split Beaver free edition.

MP3 three – Cheap Trick – Southern Girls

And here he is with the mighty Steel! A cracking name for a NWOBHM outfit, but one sadly at odds with their output. This was even before Bruce Bruce arrived in Samson, and he still only had one Bruce to his name. He didn’t hang around long, which is why he never made it to the top quality photo shoot displayed on the cover.

MP3 one – Speed – On The Road

Time to get all pomptastic now. It seems nowadays that Magnum are regarded as being somwhow unique. But back in the day, there were a few other bands out to claim their throne. One of the best were Saracen, whose “Heroes, Saints & Fools” album was an absolute peach. They even released an incredibly melodic single, which I now present for your delectation.

MP3 two – Saracen – No More Lonely Nights

Finally, for this episode, it’s time for some hometown heroes. The mighty Holocaust were Embras premier heavy metal band, all concentrated around the Phoenix record shop on the High Street. Singer Gary Lettice lived up to his rock and roll name, working behind the counter, and it was the owner of the shop who created the originally titled Phoenix Records to release Holocausts records. Of course, Metallica came along and paid guitarist John Mortimers mortgage off, but this 12″ was my favourite of all their releases. How could it not be? It is, after all, “Heavy Metal Mania all the way”.

MP3 three – Holocaust – Heavy Metal Mania

Now we don’t do prog very often round here, as it really does attract the wrong sort of people. People to whom paradiddle means more than a hearty snigger. People like Steve ‘Steve’ Harris out of Iron Maiden, for example. And it was whilst preparing an Iron Maiden radio show that I remembered this one. Because Maiden covered this on the B-side (remember them?) to their #11 smash hit “2 Minutes to Midnight”. The song was ‘A Rainbows Gold’, although Maiden decided to drop an ‘a’ instead of their usual ‘h’.

It was originally recorded by a thoroughly obscure British prog outfit called Beckett. So a swift visit to the vinyl graveyard, and here it is, crackles an’ all. They came from Tyneside, they recorded an album, then vanished. Although some of them did end up in Back Street Crawler with Paul Kossoff. Enjoy.

MP3 one – Beckett – A Rainbows Gold

On the subject of Maiden, I recently suffered sat through a 3 DVD set of Bruce Dickinsons solo output. It’s my own fault, I shouldn’t have pissed off the Russian mafia. But now you get the chance to share my pain, as Bruce Bruce warbles his way through the AC/DC pearl, ‘Sin City’.

Now I’m assuming that you’re wondering about the pic of Bruce I’ve used. Well that’s because the next installment of OLR is going to feature one of his pre Samson bands. The mighty Steel. He was so young, he was simply called Bruce, yet to drop his full set of Bruces.

MP3 two – Bruce Dickinson – Sin City – live

All that talk of Samson’n'Steel has sent me rushing back to the NWOBHM for a pure gem. And what could be better than the mighty Wikkyd Vikker! They only managed a single single and an appearance on an Ebony Records compilation. The single came out on the mighty Boogie label in 1983, and when you’ve recorded something this good, why bother doing anything else. Guitarist Mark Evans used to be in another NWOBHM band called Valhalla. Who are not to be confused with the NWOBHM band called Valhalla, who were signed to Neat. There’s a fine line…

MP3 three – Wikkyd BVikker – Black Of The Night

And a Happy New Year!

And who better to finish off our Cliffmas special than the second greatest Christmas baby ever. Yes, it’s Lemmy, who will be 64 years of age, this very Christmas Eve. Here he is with Billy Gibbons from ZZ Top and Dave Grohl, the latter no-mark performing only his second ever song worth listening to. And the other one also featured Lemmy.

However, proceed with caution for, as befits the Motorhead mainman, he finishes off this Chuck Berry classic with a ho-ho-ho bout of potty mouth. So unless you’re a weegie or a schemy, you’ll want to protect the weans ears from Sir Lemmy.

MP3 one – Lemmy – Run Rudolph Run

Back in the New Year with more musical whimsy.

They’re strange folks over in Finland. All that suicide, 24 hour long days, then 24 long hour nights, it’s no wonder they all end up going stark raving mad. At least some of the nutters put their madness to good use and end up forming metal and / or goth bands.

Which brings us to the Elven Queen, Tarja Turunen. Formerly of goth-metallers Nightwish, and now a solo artist, she gives every indication of being a bona fide mentalist. Which is how it should be, and why she has long been high on my list of aliens I’d like to be abducted by.

She’s no stranger to the world of Christmas either, despite the Finns all being troll worshipping heathens. And 2009 sees her joining in with three numbers on the catchily titled album “Maailman Kauneimmat Joululaulut”, which I think is Finnish for “We Tried To Deliver Your Parcel But You Were Out”.

She sings, [koff], ‘Maa On Niin Kaunis’, ‘Arkihuolesi Kaikki Heita’ and ‘Heinilla Harkien’. That’s ‘Batteries Not Included’, ‘Auntie Kate’s Pissed Again’ and ‘I’m Choking On A Sixpence’, for non-Finnish readers. And your goth mentalist treat is going to be the full elven choir effect of;

MP3 one – Tarja Turunen – ‘I’m Choking On A Sixpence’

You can’t get it from Amazon, so you’ll need to visit some crazy assed Finnish mail order firm, and try to persuade them to accept money instead of your first born child. Good luck.

That crazy assed tracklist in full;

Tracklist:

1. Maria Lund: Hiljaa, hiljaa
2. Jari Sillanpää: Jouluyö, juhlayö
3. Irina: Sydämeeni joulun teen
4. Veeti Kallio: Kuului laulu enkelten
5. Tarja Turunen: Maa on niin kaunis
6. Mikko Kuustonen: En etsi valtaa loistoa
7. Maria Lund & Jari Sillanpää: Sylvian joululaulu
8. Irina: Varpunen jouluaamuna
9. Mikko Kuustonen: Joulun rauhaa
10. Tarja Turunen & Veeti Kallio: Arkihuolesi kaikki heitä
11. Maria Lund: Kun maas on hanki
12. Jari Sillanpää: Marian poika
13. Tarja Turunen: Heinillä härkien
14. Veeti Kallio: On hanget korkeat
15. Irina & Mikko Kuustonen: Hiljaisin Helsinki

What the Screaming Great Gonzo is that picture of two Communist bottom bandits gettin’ up to all sorts of UnAmerican and downright nefarious practices doing here? Don’t you know that the Motor City Madman is the single most heterosexual man on the face of the planet. Ever. If anybody comes ringing my bell, dressed like that, wasailing their homosexualist Satanic wares in my face, asking to jingle my Christmas balls, then I reserve my God given American right to shoot first, and skin them and mount them later. And by mount I mean stuffing. And by stuffing…goddamit! You know what happens to atheists, sodomites and liberals. It’s an arrow up the ass from ole Uncle Ted.

So a merry Christmas to all the Christian out there. The rest of you can take my crossbow and shove it up your UnAmerican asses. Unless you’re into that sort of thing, what with you being bottom banditing heathens. You can all go to Hell. There’s only one sort of bare ass round here, and that’s Fred Bear ass. Killed and grilled. Just like ol’ Rudolph (below)

MP3 one – Ted Nugent – Deck The Halls

Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse. Apart from me beating someone about the head, for claiming that Queen were better than REO Speedwagon.

Which is why Merry Cliffmas Part 2 sees us abandoning Rob Halford, as his leather clad hand encircles our Christmas balls. Instead, it’s a fluffy, polar skin coat that encircles us, snuggling and warming us for Yuletide joy.

Y’see, REO rule. Yes, they do. Masters of the rawk, of the ballad, of the wimphem, and now of the Christmas tune, their cuddly perms have dominated the world of music since 1967, releasing such awesome albums of sheer awesomeness as “Ridin’ the Storm Out”, “You Can Tune a Piano but You Can’t Tuna Fish” and “The Earth, a Small Man, His Dog and a Chicken”.

Now 2009 sees them taking over the world of the Christmas album, putting all others to shame with some more displays of awesome. No-one else will ever be able to play ‘The First Noel’, ‘Winter Wonderland’, ‘Silent Night’, ‘Deck the Halls’, ‘Little Drummer Boy, ‘God Rest Ye, Merry Gentlemen’ or ‘Joy to the World’. without the knowledge that REO Speedwagon did it better.

MP3 one – Deck The Halls

MP3 two – Joy To The World

You can get it from Amazon, so why not become more awesomer. Buy it here.

Here’s a bonus REO Rawk masterpiece.

MP3 two – REO Speedwagon – Back On The Road Again

Sad to say, we’ve reached the end of this awesome Best Of British season, but the best has most definitely been saved for last. Yes. it’s the one, the only, Baby Tuckoo. I mean, what were they thinking? You come from Barnsley, home of Saxon, and you name yourself after James Joyce’s ‘Portrait Of The Artist As A Young Man’! Madness, I say, madness.

Their guitarist was a proper NWOBHM fella, having plied his trade in the mighty Geddes Axe, but The Tucks, as no-one called them, were just so desperate for success, you could almost smell it. Their debut was a cover of ‘Mony Mony’ and they even released a cover version of ‘Tears Of A Clown’. Eejits. It was a shame, as I rather enjoyed their second, “Rock Rock” album. Their singer ended up in Accept for about a week in the eighties, but it was the ex Geddes Axe man, Andy Barrott, who was to cement a place in rock history, joining Chrome Molly, purveyors of the legendary ‘Thanx For The Angst”, the 12″ of which still adorns my record shelves.

Fact; I saw Baby Tuckoo and Chrome Molly on a co-headlining tour, just after “Rock Rock” came out. It was awesome, in a Barney kind of way.

MP3 one – Baby Tuckoo – Broken Heart

With The Best Of British at an end, I’m contemplating an outing for the “One Take, No Dubs” EP. Something that is even scarier than it sounds. Alien, Avenger, Black Rose, Hellenbach. Worried? You should be.

However, you’re getting a couple of bonus tracks this time out. As the comments boxes have been full of legendary Dumpy sighting, I felt it only fair to give you a double dose of the man himself. My encounter with Dumpy is a double header. His Rusty Nuts were supporting Hawkwind, when he embarked on his cordless walkabout, only to encounter me, tripping beyond belief, in full “Dumpy, you’re magic” mode. He actually stopped playing to enquire after my wellbeing, and after being assured I was OK by an acquaintance, picked up his solo where he left off, and moved on.

A week later, he was playing a pub in Embra, when he embarked on his cordless walkabout. Only to encounter me again. This time, it was a curt “oh, fugg,not him again”, and a swift return to the stage.

MP3 two – Dumpys Rusty Nuts – Get Out On The Road

And, of course!

MP3 three – Dumpy – Hawkwind

Dumpy Today!

Bonus Baby Tuckoo live 1984 video;