If you’re confused about what this entails, then take a look back at Part 1 for guidance. Otherwise, prepare yourself for the next track listed down below.

Being as how it’s Saturday and I’ve been let out the Packahassee County Jail, my ole Scotch cousin Mr McH has aksed me to join in this here Death Disco thang. Now I’m hoping if he’s popped off, then that leaves me a clear run at his widow (pictured below). I don’t want to jump in too quick, but I reckon a week and a half after he’s laid in the ground I should be layin’ her down.

Anyways, here’s the fifth part of the 2009 Death Disco! Insert banjo here, and click to download. Or you can play them all as they arrive in the Death Box over on the right hand side of your screen.

Yup, you read that right – Tuesday Yee-Haw!

See, Tuesday is my day to use the comperputer here in the Packahassee County Jail, where I’ve spent the last couple of weeks learning the error of my ways through the power of Jesus, solitary confinement and bi-daily beatdowns.

Now that I have allowed Jesus into my life, I’m allowed out of my cell twice a week, which has come as a relief to Mrs H back at the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill and Tanning Saloon (closed Wednesdays).

She thought I’d gone and ran off with my long lost cousin Twinkle (pictured below). Which just goes to show you – never get drunk on Hog Hurling Day coz when they switch the lights back on, you never know whose mouth your tongue is going to be in. I tried to tell Mrs H it was an accident, but she’s a jealous woman, and packs a mighty punch for a lil’ lady.

Which is also why I’m here. Big Ronnie found out about the spittle swizzling, and as Twinkles paramour of many a year, he came in with his fists a-flying. Now I gave him a good licking, threw him in the back of the truck, drove him home and left him in the barn for the cows to pee on come milking time. Which is our time honoured way of doing things.

Thing is, I plumb forgot it was his year to be sheriff, and blow me, if he didn’t come back the very next day with a possee of his brothers, a stun gun, and a cockamamie tale of me having jumped him from behind. Seems to me he’s thinking about that mule he got over friendly with back he was then thirteen, but I ended up with six weeks in the county jail, courtesy of the local judge, who goes by the name of Grandpa Ronnie. You do the math.

Good news is, I landed here just in time for their annual show! This year, they’re doing a stage production of The Country Bears, which you may recall as the Greatest Movie Of All Time. We still screen it last Thursday of the month back at the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill and Tanning Saloon (closed Wednesdays), and we sell out the show every time.

Which means I’ve formed an all-new Packahassee County Jail Mr H Glee Club, and am delighted to present for your delectation our versions of ‘I’m Only In It For The Honey‘ and ‘Bear Mountain Hop‘. Now I know we’re not quite as good as the originals, but we’ve still got a week before showtime.

Tickets are only $5 each, or you can go get the original film here.

First up is a truly dreadful piece of Euro hippy pop / rock from 1975 -’Freedom (Glory Alleluia)‘ by Mamie Carson.

Not even the internet can shed light on this mysterious pile of pap, which seems to go on and on and on forever, without actually going anywhere. This is why furriners cannot be trusted.

Praise be then for item number 2. The glory that is Thomas the Jones. He may be a puffed out old windbag these days, but back in 1971 he could breathe fresh joy into the utterly brilliant ‘Resurrection Shuffle‘. For sure, Ashton, Gardner and Dyke were good, but they were no Sir Tom Jones. Even better, all this brilliance is contained within the magic 3 minutes, 30 seconds beyond which no single should stray. Are you listening Mamie Carson?

Oof! An early return for the fabulous Mungo Jerry to these pages. As befits a man who should be ennobled, Mr Mungo belies his Mary and Midge roots with a fine piece of r’n'b. As you should all know the A-side, let’s take B-side ‘Little Miss Hipshake‘ for a rare outing.

Finally, for today, it’s some country rock, courtesy of the band with the worst name ever. Redwing. Let me repeat that. Redwing. Obviously it means something else in Northern California. They’re actually one of my favourite country rock outfits, who released five albums on Fantasy Records in the mid seventies without every breaking through. They started life as a folk trio before making a garage punk single in 1965, recording an album under the name Glad in 1968 before Timothy B Schmidt headed off for Poco and The Eagles.

But they’re really here not because of ‘Bonnie Bones‘, rather because of the awesome World War 1 flying ace moustache on the sleeve below.

Later.

I know it’s been a while but we haven’t had to go looking for trouble down at the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill and Tanning Saloon (closed Wednesdays). You may recall that just as the Mr H Glee Club (pictured above) was heading off on tour, that our tenor, Big Bubba, got into a bit of bother when he discovered that Lil Bubba had been porking the pig a little bit close to home.

What with the fight, pa-ternity tests and jail time, it took us a might longer to get back home than planned. We had to leave Lil Bubba behind in French Lick, Indiana, as we’d no money for gas, and Louis who runs the Gun Shak wanted something to trade. So Lil Bubba had to go.

By the time we got back it turned that Big Bubba had worried for nothing. Turns out he’s not pa to Big Bubba Jr and lil Missy Babette, but he is their granpa. Swings and roundabouts.

Despite that, him and Mrs Bubba (pictured below) have decided to try and make a go of it. Which is a relief for those of who’d noticed the startling similarity between Big Bubba Jr, and a certain Pig Grill proprietor.

To celebrate, we decided to work up a new tune in honour of Mrs Bubbas finest ass-ett. So click on the link thing to take a listen to ‘Brilliant Conversationist”.

You can get the original version on CD here.

Watch him try to get into Tanya Tuckers panties below;

Now I know what you folks are thinking. It ain’t Saturday. Well, let me tell you, when the beer starts flowing and the fists go flying, then pretty much any night is Saturday night down at the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill (closed Wednesdays).

Just for a change, it was all the fault of Big Bubba, who sings tenor with the Mr H Glee Club (pictured above, Mr H centre). Seems his brother (and tenor), Lil Bubba has been porking the pig a little bit close to home, and that maybe, just maybe, Big Bubba Jr and lil Missy Babette aren’t going to grow up as tall and as purty as Big Bubba.

So, things got a bit rowdy when Mrs Bubba (pictured below) turned up, all halter neck, low flying breasts and hot pants, and started jiggling and gyrating stage right. And everyone knows that Big Bubba never strays from stage left. Not since the incident with the branding iron and the ripped dungarees. Before you could give a “Yee-Haw”, the whole Glee Club erupted into the best damn fight we’ve had since Missy-Sue gave three of us a dose the night of the boar wrestling contest.

A bit of a shame, as we’d just worked up a fine rendition of our signature tune, the Jake Owens classic “Yee-Haw“. We won’t be playing this Saturday, what with two $50 fines and a lack of members. So with the Mr H Glee Club out of action for quite some time, we’ve lined up the Topless Bowling Team for entertainment. Hope my bowling arm still works. If you don’t fancy seeing me topless, buy the CD here, stay home, and make your own entertainment.

Watch Jake in action below;

It’s that time of year again! Yes, it’s the Miss Mudflaps Wet T-Shirt & Bar BQ Weekend held, as always, on the back of Big Als custom trailer, here in the grounds of the Mr H Trailer Park and All-Nite Pig Grill (closed Wednesdays).

By special request, the Mr H Glee Club (pictured above, Mr H centre), are once again providing the musical backing to the biggest event in the Wet T-Shirt & Bar BQ calendar. Because the only thing better than a nekkid hot chick dancing on the back of a trailer, is a scantily clad hot chick, dancing on the back of a trailer getting sprayed with warm 7-Up! Hot, sticky and sweet! Mmmmmm.

This year we’ve went to all the bother of learning a brand new tune to add to the 3 we already know. And it’s a storming version of Trace (but he’s a bloke) Adkins ‘Honky Tonk Badonkadonk’. How can you go wrong with lyrics like;

“Now Honey, you can’t blame her
For what her mama gave her
You ain’t gotta hate her
For workin’ that money-maker
Band shuts down at two
But we’re hangin’ out till three
We hate to see her go
But love to watch her leave
With that honky tonk badonkadonk”

Now that’s poetry!

If you’re not able to make it to the Miss Mudflaps Wet T-Shirt & Bar BQ Weekend, then STEAL a copy HERE, and have your very own competition, with the assistance of a hot chick and a dead pig.

You can find the original on Volume 2 of his Greatest Hits – Amazon, and then watch his lame half assed video, where he fails dismally to recreate the joys of the Miss Mudflaps experience. Now, I’m off to warm up the 7-Up pump. Take care now.

And here’s a picture from last years final;

The sun was shining, so me and the boys in the Mr H Glee Club (pictured above) decided to forsake our usual place on the porch, and took our guns and moonshine off to the new Tony Bl.iar Multi-Ethnic Faith Based Playpark and Art Installation for a little whiskey and fun.

The kids seemed to enjoy it, especially when we picked one of each color, balanced an empty bottle on their heads, and then shot them off with an array of high powered weaponry. Surprisingly few casualties until it started snowing and Bubba accidentally shot out the street lights. But how are kids supposed to get street smarts if they don’t learn from their mistakes. Ceecil and Yin-Tung won’t twitch again in a hurry, let me tell you.

We spent the day singing Confederate Railroad songs and you can LISTEN to our favourite, “She Treats Her Body Like A Temple, I Treat Mine Like A Honky Tonk” here.

You can STEAL the mp3HERE!

You can buy the album here.