It’s time to have something for the ladies out there. We’ve been rocking hard of late, but sometimes it’s nice to sit back, relax, picture an attractive Swedish lady, perhaps relaxing in a jacuzzi, clothesless and, possibly, naked.
Maybe she has been birching herself, and needs someone to reach the places she can’t manage herself. It could be she needs a good hard pumicing, a volcanic rock that is a solidified frothy lava, not uncommon in Sweden.
Um, what was I talking about? Oh, yes, Nina Persson, the Cardigans vocalist who has the dreadfully named side project A Camp, with Sparklehorse fella Mark Linkous. Although I have no idea what that last bit is. I nicked it from Wiki. Anyway, the fragrant and possibly polished Nina has recorded ‘Silent Night’, especially for you, the plebs, this Christmas.
So today’s Christmas classic is ‘Stille Nacht’. You can hear it here.
Come Christmas Day, I’ll be broadcasting Christmas joy to the world on GRTR between 8 and 10pm GMT, and broadcasting Christmas Blues to the world on Boxing Day.
Ozzy Osbourne
Prince Of Darkness, my arse. For sure, I saw hom live loads of times, but I was the second most wasted person there after him, my enjoyment may have been enhanced to a point where a drunk going “woo” for an hour and a half seemed like a good idea. It wasn’t. Ozzy sucks.
Type O Negative
Piss taking goth metallers who only become briefly famous due to mainman Pete Steele getting his cock out for Playgirl magazine. Note: getting your cock out and letting people take pictures of it makes you a, um, cock. You cock.
60s Status Quo
Now the Quo may have become the Kings Ov Boogie in the seventies, but in their preening, peacock finery, they were absolutely lamentable. At least they learned error of ways, fired the ugliest one, and briefly ruled the world.
I Have An Idea
Let’s take that mentally ill fella who used to wail like a distressed gnu and get a bunch of open air cock wielders to back him on a cover of the paisley patterned sixties Quo. This is a thing that should not be.
This is Jolene Turner, erstwhile vocalist with RAINBOW and DEEP PURPLE.
A man famed for his flouncy stage style and camp theatrics, and one who has contributed to a large number of classic RAWK albums that I am happy to count as friends. However, the one thing he is not, is METAL.
This is MOTORHEAD.
The dirtiest, grubbiest, rock and roll band ever to pollute the planet. Which, of course, makes them one of the finest bands ever to grace the planet. They are MOTORHEAD.
So what on earth (apart from cash) would persuade Jolene that doing a KOVER version of any MOTORHEAD song, never mind their theme tune to a HELLRAISER movie, would be a good idea. Well, he did.
And that sound you can hear is LEMMY stirring in his grave.
You can LISTEN to Joe Lynn Turner cover Motorhead here.
You can buy my favourite Jolene solo album here.
You can buy the best of his albums with Glenn Hughes here.
You can get a cracking Rainbow album for less than a fiver here.
His cracking Deep Purple album is here.
And of course, you can get the Motorhead original for less than a fiver here.
