And here we are, with part 2 of the all-singing*, all-dancing** Avatar heavies that were Chevy.
Remember the instruction;
Download each track as it appears here, over the next week or so.
Copy the images to the same location.
Burn all the tracks to CD.
Print off a CD case sized copy of the pictures.
Put everything into a CD case.
Ta-Da! “The Taker” by Chevy on CD!
This was a single;
This was them on tour with the mighty Hawkwind! I was there. They didn’t go down well with a HW crowd. Oh, no. It was a shame.
Well, you’ve waited long enough, so prepare yourself as I unveil, in order of appearance, the lineup for this years Death Disco.
And they were;
1. Krokus – Long Stick Goes Boom
2. April Wine – Weeping Widow
3. Sad Cafe – My Oh My
4. The Commodores vs. Lil’ Kim – Brick House
5. Trace Adkins – Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
6. Ted Nugent – Wang Dang Sweet Poontang
7. The Chi-Lites – Are You My Woman
8. Atomic Rooster – Stand By Me
9. Amon Amarth – Guardians Of Asgard
10. Tiamat – Brighter Than The Sun
11. Wet Willie – Baby Fat
12. Desmond Child – Love On A Rooftop
13. Motorhead – Hellraiser
14. Vinnie Vincent Invasion – Shoot U Full Of Love
15. Autograph – Turn Up The Radio
16. Angel – The Tower
17. The Meads Of Asphodel – Assault And Battery
18. Monster Magnet – Bummer
19. Hawkwind – Spirit Of The Age
And now, here are the same songs, in order of most downloads, the DD Charts.
1) Monster Magnet – Bummer
2) Ted Nugent – Wang Dang Sweet Poontang
3) Sad Cafe – My Oh My
4) Trace Adkins – Honky Tonk Badonkadonk
5) Tiamat – Brighter Than The Sun
6) Angel – The Tower
7) Krokus – Long Stick Goes Boom
=) Wet Willie – Baby Fat
9) Hawkwind – Spirit Of The Age
=) Vinnie Vincent Invasion – Shoot U Full Of Love
11) April Wine – Weeping Widow
= ) The Commodores vs. Lil’ Kim – Brick House
= ) Atomic Rooster – Stand By Me
14) Autograph – Turn Up The Radio
15) Motorhead – Hellraiser
16) The Meads Of Asphodel – Assault And Battery
17) Amon Amarth – Guardians Of Asgard
18) The Chi-Lites – Are You My Woman
19) Desmond Child – Love On A Rooftop
So what does this say about the readership here at GHMI? It says you’re a bunch of mucky beggars, and that I’m ashamed of you. Why? Because 2 of the top 3 had pictograms of nekkid ladies bits, and the third had the word poontang. Filthmongers, the lot of you. Should you wish an explanation of any of the clues, now that the bands and songs have been revealed, feel free to ask. But I might just call you an idiot, so it’s your call.
If you’re confused about what this entails, then take a look back at Part 1 for guidance. Otherwise, prepare yourself for the next track listed down below.
The problem with being restricted to 19 tracks, is the limit it places on genres. I mean, there’s not enough room for all the death metal and space rock I’d like to play. If only there was some way of combining the two? Why doesn’t someone just form a band that mixes up death metal and space rock. They could call it deathrockspacemetal or spacemetaldeathrock, or something similar. What do you mean? There is a deathmetalspacerock band! Ya beauty!
So without further ado, I present the latest part of the 2009 Death Disco! Time to get your battle armour, corpse paint and swooshes at the ready, and click to download. Or you can play them all as they arrive in the Death Box over on the right hand side of your screen.
And here’s your carefully selected pictogram clue for today.
Back in the mists of time, when heavy metal could still be heard on regional radio, CJ the DJ would often line up a couple of tracks under the banner of the Avatar Heavies. They had a jingle and everything.
The flagship acts on Avatar were Dark Star and Chevy. But there was a problem.
Even a metal novice like me could tell that;
a) they weren’t very heavy,
b) they weren’t very metal, and
c) they weren’t very good.
I had the misfortune to see Chevy once, when they made the mistake of supporting the Mighty Hawkwind on tour. They really wanted to be American melodic rockers, but sadly ahd neither the songs nor the personality.
Their fellow Avatarians, Dark Star, might have made better bedfellows on the Hawkwind tour, as they were just hippies who’d cranked their guitars up a bit.
Both bands also made the mistake of appearing on “Metal For Muthas”. Shame it was Volume II, the one no-one bought.
However, time has mellowed my contempt, and now it’s your turn to hear “THE AVATAR HEAVIES”.
Wacka Wacka Week has been called off, as I finally got round to listing the requests left while the Mr H Glee Club was off on tour.
It seems appropriate to visit Motorhead in this, the week that sees the release of their 24th studio album, “Motorizer”. We’ll be paying particular attention to the affectionally named Shite Years, with some gems from the Motorhead back catalogue.
First some history. As everyone knows Motorhead mainman Lemmy, first entered the priesthood back in the 15th century. However, come 1492, he found his faith no longer sustained him, and torn between joining Christopher Columbus on a naval expedition or linking up with an extreme religions sect, he chose the latter.
His adventures with the Mighty Hawkwind are for another time and place, but safe to say he wouldn’t be the man he is today without them. Deciding to form his own cult, he launched the Royal & Ancient Fellowship Of The Bastards back in 1875. However, no-one seemed interested until he renamed the sect after a Mighty Hawkwind song. And, lo, Motorhead was born. Listen to the Dave Edmunds produced version of the song here.
For several years, they could do no wrong, winning followers from across the world, drawn to their charismatic three chord rock and roll, culminating in a mass meeting in Newcastle, which was released as the No 1 album, “No Sleep Till Hammersmith” (eh?). However, like many preachers before him, the Lemster was drawn towards the dark side, with temptations thrust his every which way. His loins and his lusts betrayed him. However, he kept this secret from his flock with only the lacklustre “Iron Fist” album giving an indication of the torment in his soul. Listen to a “rare” [koff] 2002 live version of the title track here
But then it all came out. His chief acolyte, Cardinal “Fast Eddie” Clarke took orders with Pete Way after the truth about Lemmy came to public light. He had lost his virginity to a mad colonial transgender punk called Wendy O Williams. A secret recording of their coupling was released on vinyl to the horror of the Motorhead legions. “Stand By Your Man” is here.
The B-side was even worse (here) and the new Cardinal was revealed as a tutu wearing, ginger Scotchman. All was lost. The dark forces had won.
However, the Lemster knew that he had to put the needs of the many before his own carnal lusts. And so it was, that with the aid of a Saxon, a Welshman and Worzel Gummidge he put the church of Motorhead back together. Although it was a temporary union, the resulting “Killed By Death” (here) was the first indication that his true destiny as our Lord Lemmy would be fulfilled.
The masses may have abandoned the Church of Motorhead, but we believers still harken to the old, true ways.
Of late, there has been some unwarranted abuse of the mighty HAWKWIND in these pages. Despite warnings of severe punishment, this actually spilled on to the pages of A Scandal & A Disgrace. So, it is with heavy heart, and a finger pointed at You Know Who You Bloody Well Are, that I present to you.
Part One of the Godshatmyipod Tribute to “Drive Me Crazy“.
Eh? I hear you cry. Well, once upon a time a movie emerged that actually made the Britney Spears vehicle “Crossroads” seem like a Sundance worthy, Newsnight Review feted masterpiece. No surprise then, to learn that it starred the low rent Britney, one Melisaa Joan Hart, formerly of the hallowed in my household Sabrina The Teenage Witch*. Of course, MJH (as her friends call her) couldn’t actually sing, so they roped Britney into an episode of Sabrina, and sneaked Melissa into a Britney video to prove that her lack of talent extended to dancing as well.
Naturally, that means the opening slot goes to Britney. Appropriately enough. So here’s the near title track “(You Drive Me) Crazy“, complete with redundant brackets;
Without actually having seen the film all the way through, I’m guessing this is the bit where MJH spots the man of her dreams emerging dripping wet from a foam bath in the pet salon where he shampoos chihuahas. And here’s where it gets weird, fact fans. Said manflesh is played by Adrian Grenier, in a breakthrough movie role he has spent the last ten years trying to expunge from memory since he starred in the award winning HBO series, “Entourage“. Well, it’s back BABY!
Because this is a wholesome movie, next up are Christian rock band, Jars Of Clay, whose name is derived from the New International Version’s translation of 2 Corinthians 4:7: But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. But God seems to be okay with them hawking “Unforgetful You” to MJH.
This song probably essays the scene where Adrian looks across the water spillage at MJHs cleavage, and realises there is more to life than shampooing chihuahas, and that if he plays his cards right, the budget Britney could introduce him to the real one, and he could get to star in an actual Britney video! (which he did).
Finally, for now, it’s over to the well known, not at all mad, and / or homosexualist alchoholics, the Backstreet Boys. Best known these days for providing the cash to enable manager Lou Pearlman in his money laundering career (2008 saw him copping 25 years in federal prison, after pleading guilty), they used to make records in between taking their shirts off in public and rubbing baby oil over their oddly (even the bearded one) hairless chests.
As it’s really shite remix of “I Want It That Way“, with hints of doof doof, this must soundtrack the 4am acid test Adrian and MJH take part in just before the animal orgy. Or not.
More soon.
* a programme I watched for the insanely hot Beth Broderick who interspersed kiddy telly with art house, topless fare. Joy.
I’ve been getting very excited of late, as the mighty HAWKWIND, the Masters Of The Universe, The Warriors At The Edge Of Time, the band who defined a large part of my teens, twenties and even thirties have announced a proper UK, which means I only have to drag my weary bones to Glasweegie in December, instead of all the way dahn sarf to Lahndan Town.
It also made me realise that I haven’t been playing enough records by mad bastards of late.
So, into the depths of the cleverly named Mad Bastard Box I went. However, I didn’t get very far, as the first shelf, the Mad Swedish Bastard shelf contained quite enough madness for one day. Because in between the teeny pop, saunas, goth metal and flagellation, you will find an abundance of mad seventies inspired bandits, and a good number of them appear on the Transubstans label. So I make no apologies for devoting today to some of their latter day mental gubbins.
First up are the splendid Graveyard, with the song “Evil Ways“.
I have nothing to say, as the press release did it so much better; “Steppin’ out of the Swedish woods and right into your head! This quartet bends your mind with their sonic boom rhythms. Seducing you with songs in which life and death collide with the blues, thunder and lightning brings out heavy tunes of doom, insanity and clarity clashes into psychedelia and folk music.” Result!
Next up are Burning Saviours with the fabulously titled “Dreaming Of Pastries” from their “Nymphs & Weavers album. And who hasn’t?
“Burning Saviours pay homage to childhood favorites like Black Sabbath, Deep Purple, Uriah Heep and Jethro Tull but brings it up to date with 2007 sound and style. The band do not fear to mix in plenty of folky influences, adding flutes and slower songs as well. File next to Cathedral or Pentagram.” Words to make an old man weep.
Last, but no means least are the spacerockiest of the bunch, Oresund Space Collective with “Viking Cleaner” from “The Black Tomato” album.
“It is not only the magic of the moment but the spirit that rises up through the music and escapes. There is a lot of hidden sounds, feelings and moods in the music for one to discover through aural stimulation. We recommend you exit your normal existence, place the headphones firmly in place, relax…enter into the Black Tomato.” Which smells like the kind of hippy I like to give a good beatdown to, but I’ll let them off this time.
Back in the days when man was but a shambling, knuckle dragging, retardathon, the Earth was dominated by three races;
The Melnibeans – a cruel, gloomy, pale faced race, who devoted most of their time devising new ways of making black nail varnish look interesting and then getting their scribes to write gloomy poems about how interesting their black nail varnish was,
The Pixies – petite, rampant homosexualists, who spent their time devising new ways of inserting unpleasant objects in unpleasant places, and then writing fey songs about it, and
The Dwarves – stocky, hairy, brutes, who spent their time banging metal objects together, shouting, and then singing lusty songs about banging metal objects together and shouting.
As time passed, humankind became the dominant force on the planet. The Melnibeanz retreated to the land of Goth, with their scribes writing boring books about how gloomy everything was, the pixies decided to move into teaching and making progressive rock records and the dwarves pretty much carried on as before, only in Germany.
Which brings us to the King of the Dwarves, King Dumpy of Dunnell and his Rusty Nuts. I don’t remember the first time I saw Dumpys Rusty Nuts. Literally. They were supporting the mighty Hawkwind, and I had taken enough speed to fell a Lemmy. So when the King of The Dwarves, using the power of the cordless guitar arrived in front of me, I was too busy banging my head repeatedly against a wall muttering. So, the following week I didn’t take kindly to said Dumpy telling everyone when he played a local pub and treated me to an up close solo.
So, here as a special treat are both side of the legendary “Boxhill Or Bust” single. The one where the name was changed to Dumpys Rusty Bolts to ensure that all important Radio 1 airplay. Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Sorry, couldn’t help it. The flip was “It’s Got To Be Blues“.
Watch – Boxhill Or Bust
Everything by Dumpy is shockingly out of print, so you’re on your own.
