It’s the Tuesday Yee-haw!

Yup, you read that right – Tuesday Yee-Haw!

See, Tuesday is my day to use the comperputer here in the Packahassee County Jail, where I’ve spent the last couple of weeks learning the error of my ways through the power of Jesus, solitary confinement and bi-daily beatdowns.

Now that I have allowed Jesus into my life, I’m allowed out of my cell twice a week, which has come as a relief to Mrs H back at the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill and Tanning Saloon (closed Wednesdays).

She thought I’d gone and ran off with my long lost cousin Twinkle (pictured below). Which just goes to show you – never get drunk on Hog Hurling Day coz when they switch the lights back on, you never know whose mouth your tongue is going to be in. I tried to tell Mrs H it was an accident, but she’s a jealous woman, and packs a mighty punch for a lil’ lady.

Which is also why I’m here. Big Ronnie found out about the spittle swizzling, and as Twinkles paramour of many a year, he came in with his fists a-flying. Now I gave him a good licking, threw him in the back of the truck, drove him home and left him in the barn for the cows to pee on come milking time. Which is our time honoured way of doing things.

Thing is, I plumb forgot it was his year to be sheriff, and blow me, if he didn’t come back the very next day with a possee of his brothers, a stun gun, and a cockamamie tale of me having jumped him from behind. Seems to me he’s thinking about that mule he got over friendly with back he was then thirteen, but I ended up with six weeks in the county jail, courtesy of the local judge, who goes by the name of Grandpa Ronnie. You do the math.

Good news is, I landed here just in time for their annual show! This year, they’re doing a stage production of The Country Bears, which you may recall as the Greatest Movie Of All Time. We still screen it last Thursday of the month back at the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill and Tanning Saloon (closed Wednesdays), and we sell out the show every time.

Which means I’ve formed an all-new Packahassee County Jail Mr H Glee Club, and am delighted to present for your delectation our versions of ‘I’m Only In It For The Honey‘ and ‘Bear Mountain Hop‘. Now I know we’re not quite as good as the originals, but we’ve still got a week before showtime.

Tickets are only $5 each, or you can go get the original film here.

Welcome back to the Saturday Yee-Haw

I know it’s been a while but we haven’t had to go looking for trouble down at the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill and Tanning Saloon (closed Wednesdays). You may recall that just as the Mr H Glee Club (pictured above) was heading off on tour, that our tenor, Big Bubba, got into a bit of bother when he discovered that Lil Bubba had been porking the pig a little bit close to home.

What with the fight, pa-ternity tests and jail time, it took us a might longer to get back home than planned. We had to leave Lil Bubba behind in French Lick, Indiana, as we’d no money for gas, and Louis who runs the Gun Shak wanted something to trade. So Lil Bubba had to go.

By the time we got back it turned that Big Bubba had worried for nothing. Turns out he’s not pa to Big Bubba Jr and lil Missy Babette, but he is their granpa. Swings and roundabouts.

Despite that, him and Mrs Bubba (pictured below) have decided to try and make a go of it. Which is a relief for those of who’d noticed the startling similarity between Big Bubba Jr, and a certain Pig Grill proprietor.

To celebrate, we decided to work up a new tune in honour of Mrs Bubbas finest ass-ett. So click on the link thing to take a listen to ‘Brilliant Conversationist”.

You can get the original version on CD here.

Watch him try to get into Tanya Tuckers panties below;

International Tom Jones Week Part 3

Welcome to Part 3 of International Tom Jones Week, the one week of the year when the wobbly Welsh warbler receives his proper due as the Greatest Singer Of The 20th Century And Beyond.

The Great Man is, of course, a Master of all forms of music and, in addition to his many other titles, is also the “King Of Rock’n'Roll”.

Elvis Presley – fat balladeer
Jerry Lee Lewis – mad speedofile, and
Little Richard – mad transvestite,

only Thomas the Jones is the true “King Of Rock’n'Roll”.

feel the power as he exudes his manliness at former jailbait Brooke Shields, requesting that she be his “Little Queenie“.

Now listen to well known toileteer Mister Chuck Berry as he labours away in the knowledge that he will never be as good as Thomas the Jones

Watch the Chuckster in action below;

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The Mr H Glee Club is off on tour

Yup, it’s that time of year, with pa-ternity tests pending, that the Mr H Glee Club heads off to take their country rockin’ sounds to the internet free / mobile dead zones of our beloved United States of America.

Local law enforcement permitting, we should be back around about the beginning of September, but don’t panic – the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill (closed Wednesdays) will be in the safe hands of Lil’ Lindy-Lou. Well, hand, ever since the mincer incident. So stop on by for all your dead meat needs (we rent trailers by the hour).

If you happy to be over here, looking for pleasure, me and the boys will be appearing in Bald Knob, Arkansas, Blue Ball, Delaware, French Lick, Indiana, Gay Head, Massachusetts, Square Butt, Montana, Humptulips, Washington, Pussy Creek, Ohio and Toadsuck Arkansas.

If you can’t make it here’s a rare, live recording of the Mr H Glee Club to keep you warm at night.