As y’all know by now, I’ve been incarcerated in the Packahassee County Jail, and it’s the All-New Mr H Glee Club who’ve been performing for the boys in Cell Block 9, these last few weeks.
A few folks have been dropping into the Mr H Trailer Park and 24/7, 365, All-Nite Pig Grill and Tanning Saloon (closed Wednesdays), to pass on their condolences to Mrs H, seeing as how I’ll be here for Christmas. Well, let me tell y’all, that I’ve still got friends on the outside, and they’ve been done keeping an eye on just who has been condoling Mrs H. So, I know where you live, and I’ll be out next month.
Now that I’m out of solitary confinement, the beatdowns are only once a week, which leaves plenty time for Jesus, grits and knuckle ride Nancy, especially since the cause of my current predicament, my long lost cousin Twinkle (pictured below), came visiting last week.
I’ve never seem so many men fighting for a ringside view. The warden had to hose them done with Big Bertha, the water cannon he liberated from them there Al Keeda boys down in Knoxville. Leastways, they were overly swarthy, and ran a kebab shop, which is the kind of Commie Islamic we’ve got to stamp out, now that Commie Islamic dude is president.
Kenny over at the Aryan Brotherhood wing reckons that if he sends him a welcome to the White House gift, in the shape of a pentagram, that the Satanic Commie Islamilover won’t be able to resist. And then ka-boom!
Course, Kenny ain’t exactly sure what a pentagram looks like, but there’s a Jewish boy working the kitchen whose going to be press ganged Saturday night. Kenny says the Jews know all about Satan and sewing, so he’ll be a natural. I’m not so sure. My Uncle Ulysses went to Boston once, and said they were just like the rest of. Only they couldn’t speak English proper.
After the tremendous success of the prison stage production of The Country Bears, me and the boys are putting on a Christmas show. The warden sure loves Christmas, almost as much as the Marshall Tucker Band, so we’ve run up a version of their Christmas classic ‘My Christmas In Custody’. which you can listen to here.
Come Christmas Day, I’ll be listening to my Scotch cousing, Mr McH on GRTR between 8 and 10pm GMT, and he’s promised to play the original version.
Should be good. Later, y’all.